Once I started embodying this phrase, my life completely changed.
It was April 2018, I was sitting in the parking lot at preschool, and I LOST IT when I saw someone make their own parking space literally the day after a notice was sent around to stop doing this.
I got PISSED.
So much so that I made my FIRST FB live video (ever!) about it.
I ranted. I raged. I blamed. I judged. I was ANGRY.
And it wasn’t until that moment it all became crystal clear: I was an angry person because other people weren’t acting the way they were ‘supposed’ to (ex, keeping the kids safe and parking in designated areas).
And it made me uncomfortable.
I was also in Mel Robbins’ Power of You program at the time. She challenged us to ‘go live’. And man, oh man, am I glad I did.
By admitting that I was angry because other people couldn’t follow a simple rule, it allowed me to take an objective look at what was really happening.
I was taking it PERSONALLY that these people were blatantly disobeying what seems like common sense to me…I mean, that’s why there’s lines on the pavement….for you to know where to safely park….right?
But it wasn’t about me.
I took a long hard look at why I got so angry when people disobeyed the ‘rules’ of life (most of my irritation comes from irresponsible drivers…you should see me rage at 4 way intersections, which is still an issue I’m working to resolve).
But when I realized that they were only acting from THIER perspective of life, and they THEIR choices (and consequences) are their own, it started to lift a lot of those heavy emotions I was carrying.
I mean, I don’t know what goes on in someone else’s life unless they tell me, so it’s pretty useless to make assumptions.
And, I can’t ‘make’ anyone do anything just because I want them to.
I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO control over others, just like they have ZERO control over me.
I am responsible for everything I think, say, feel, believe, and do.
And the same is true for you.
When I took this information to heart I started seeing how some people act from a place of pain, and that they can project that on to you in the form of resentment, guilting, shaming, judging, lashing out, ignoring, and so on.
This is exactly what I had been doing. Projecting my anger in the form of judgment (and I was HARSH) because all I was able to see was the chaos of ‘not following the rules’.
And this chaos made me uncomfortable because I was at the time, a very rigid rule follower.
So it didn’t fit with my understanding of the world. And it also didn’t feel good to be angry all the time.
I was able to make the conscious choice to let it go, let people be who they are going to be, and not take it personally. It has nothing to do with me if they can ‘follow the rules’ or not. Their choice.
Now I am able to keep my cool and send love to everyone, even if they piss me off in the parking lot. I know everyone is on their own journey and they are playing out their story the way that is meant for THEM, not for me.
Knowing that I am in complete control of ME gives me the ability to send love, compassion, acceptance, kindness, and gratitude to others.
Do yourself a favor and focus on what you CAN control- YOU. Don’t worry about anyone else. Trust they will figure it out for themselves.