Oh assumptions.
We all make them.
However, how often do we stop and think about the effects of our assumptions?
Probably not as often as we should.
Here’s an example you may be able to relate to:
We all have friends we can go to and spill our hearts to at the drop of a dime. We need that in our lives.
Most of the time, these friends are there for you, no problem.
You can just shoot them a text or drop them a line and talk about something that’s bothering you, or you need help with, or if you just need someone to listen. They’re usually able to spend some time with you.
So you do it without a second thought.
But, have you ever stopped to ASK if it’s ok to drop all your heavy energy on to them?
What if they’re having a tough day? What if they are not in the headspace (or energetic space) to help you? What if they just don’t want to engage in that particular topic?
Well, now you’ve just opened yourself up, spilled your guts, and are met with an “I can’t talk to you about this right now”.
How does that make you feel?
Perhaps you’re a bit angry that your friend “isn’t there for you”, or resentful because they’re not available to you at the moment you need them?
Maybe you’re feeling vulnerable and hurt because you opened up to them and they’re “shutting you down”. Maybe you’re afraid that they won’t like you anymore because of something you said.
OMG, you feel so stupid for opening your mouth. “Why do I always do this”….self doubt, self-punishment, shame, guilt, worry, fear, anger, jealousy, pride, judgment, resentment…..it all comes rushing in, and the shame spiral begins.
Now you feel…… (lousy?)
Why? Because you’ve been making assumptions about two things:
1) The other person’s ability/availability to do something for you
2) That their response is all about you personally
Consider a different perspective: Maybe their kid is sick. Maybe they are about to lose their house. Maybe THEY need a day to rest. Maybe the topic is a trigger for them and they’re not able to emotionally handle YOUR stuff today. Maybe is has ZERO TO DO WITH YOU AT ALL.
Did you ask?
Probably not.
You assumed (now you can understand how we make “asses” of ourselves when we do this).
So, then, do you REALLY have a reason to be upset with that person for their response? (No, in this case, you don’t).
We as humans, transfer energy unconsciously to others, and it can be very intense, like in the situation above, if the topic is heavy. If a person who is an empath or highly sensitive gets bombarded with this type of energy, it can affect them for hours, even days!
IDK about y’all, but I live by the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated.
I don’t like it when people do this to me, so I have become more conscious of when I may be doing this to others, and have been asking their permission to talk about certain things.
Let’s say that it’s made life a lot easier.
Does it always happen? No, I am human. But I will always thank them profusely as soon as the awareness kicks in if I forget to ask.
I always tell people I’m happy to hold space for them. And that’s always true. I’m here to support your journey too. That will never change. I want to see you succeed (maybe even perhaps more than you do!) because of the way I view the world.
But I have boundaries too.
Why?
Because I am important and I love myself enough to set up my life in a way that works for ME, surrounding myself with high vibrations, love, awareness, compassion, and a thirst for truthful knowledge.
So, yes, I am here to help, but no, I am not a dumping ground for your low-vibe energy. And if you’re upset at me for that, sorry not sorry, but I value my peace over your drama. #truth 🕉
#coachingtips #awareness #boundaries #selfworth