When it’s gone it’s gone, and perhaps it’s time to walk away.
Life throws us all sorts of curveballs. Things can suddenly snap us out of our comfort zones by our own choosing or not, and subtle nudges of inspiration and guidance can lead us in a completely different direction than we planned on going. Change is inevitable, as this is the nature of the universe, and everything is constantly morphing, transforming, and evolving as we hurtle through space on this planet called Earth.
As we change, expand, and grow, we become different versions of ourselves. We outgrow the things we used to enjoy, and replace them with new things that truly light up our soul, as we discover through trial and error what our deepest desires are.
Yet all too often we insist upon clinging to the things we used to do and like, perhaps to please others, to avoid conflict, or because they give us a false sense of security, safety, or love. We try our hardest to keep nurturing parts of ourselves that we’ve outgrown when we really need to be tilling the soil for the new seeds to sprout.
Allotting all this energy to watering dead flowers won’t help bring them back to life — you’re simply delaying the inevitable and creating a loop of pain and suffering for yourself. When you try to remain as the person you were in the past, you waste precious energy because you are not that person anymore.
The outgrowth is the most painful part of the growing process, and we forget to allot time to grieve the loss of the old self. It’s so easy to want to hold on to the person you used to be, especially when other people attempt to reel you back in. Often others don’t want you to change, or resist your changing perhaps by becoming angry, jealous, or defensive, simply because it means something in their life also has to change, and that brings up some fear.
But how can you remain who you used to be after you’ve changed? It would take a lot of conscious effort to go backwards, and even if you did, you wouldn’t be the same version of yourself because you’d be going backwards with a different perspective than you had before. Experience is what changes us on a moment to moment basis, and is the reason why you literally wake up a different person every day.
Attempting to keep the old parts of you alive when you’ve outgrown who you used to be is draining energetically. What’s happening is that you’re focusing on the past, which is gone, causing you to drag those patterns into the present moment, which is creating the same challenges in the future, perpetuating that loop-cycle of pain and suffering.
By placing all the focus on trying to keep parts of yourself alive when what’s needed is space for change, for something new and different to come in, all possibilities are cut off. Giving yourself time to grieve the fact that your old life and self are gone, allowing that to really sink in with a willingness and gracious acceptance for something different and unknown, is what creates the fertile soil for the new seeds to grow.
When you trust your intuition and take a risk to follow a new path, you become someone new, someone unknown to you and everyone else. It’s this version of you that needs watering, nurturing, compassion, and grace. Feeding your energy to the new you instead of the old you will give you the willingness to bloom your brightest.
Remain focused on how it feels to be in the new, unknown you, right here in the present moment. Then, take a look at the old you, send them love, thank them for their service, and let them know you will no longer be coming by with the watering can.
Continuing to complain about the same things, speaking the same old ways about yourself and your abilities, and hooking into those disempowering thoughts are all examples of “watering dead flowers”.
“Tweak your speak”, so to say, and choose expansive words that leave a positive pathway for your desires to enter. How would the new you speak and think? Using words that are in alignment with who you desire to become and what you desire to have and do will help water the parts of you that will propel you forward and become the biggest, brightest version of yourself.
Remember, where you place your focus your energy follows, and what your energy is focused on grows rapidly. Stop watering the dead flowers and nurture your new sprouts and blooms.