Are you responsible?
I’ve been reading this amazing book called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey * and WOWZA what an eye opening book about personal development!
Written in 1989, this book talks about a lot of personal development strategies that have become more mainstream these days, and the very first one really stands out: Be Proactive.
We’re talking about responsibility here, so let’s take a quick quiz to see how “respons-able” we really are.
Answer Yes or No
Q1: Other people routinely take my time, money, and sanity away from me.
Q2: The economy, the government, and people in general make me feel like I’ll never be able to succeed, get ahead, or have the freedom I want so badly.
Q3: When faced with an obstacle, I search for solutions, trying whatever I can until something works.
Q4: I routinely collaborate with the efforts of others so we may ALL be successful.
Questions 1 and 2 reflect a reactive state while 3 and 4 reflect a proactive state. Where did you land?
Being responsible means that you have the ability to respond to a situation in a proactive way rather than a reactive way.
When you are in a reactive state, you place the “blame” or cause of the problem on something outside (the world, other people, the weather, etc…), and often feel victimized by your circumstances.
In other words, you feel like crap because something else made you feel that way.
However, to truly be proactive and “respons-able” you can recognize that you, and ONLY you, choose how you feel and respond to situations in your life. You take initiative to feel better, fix the problem, and take action.
This notion really hit me when I read it because this is a massive switch I’ve had to make in my life over the past few years. I was extremely reactive, blaming anything and everything for my depression.
It wasn’t until I bit the bullet and took a real hard look at the situation and realized that MY CHOICES led me to where I was, and that NO ONE BUT ME could make the choice to do something about it.
Putting the blame outside of me only caused more avoidance of the real issue, which was the lens I was perceiving the world through. It was a lens that allowed me to look at life like a victim- that outside forces were “making” me depressed, angry, irritable, and so on.
In truth, I discovered that I, not the outside world or other people, was the one CHOOSING to react in a way that screamed “I’m a victim”, and that what was happening externally was just triggering this response.
This discovery brought me to take a deeper look under the surface as to what was really going on, why I was acting this way, and solutions I could try so I could turn things around.
I read countless books on taking responsibility (my favorite being You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero*) and making things happen FOR me that were aligned with what I wanted.
No more waiting for “things to line up” or for someone else to step in and tell me what to do. Nope. I decided to become respons-able and find proactive ways to help myself.
Little by little life started turning around and the outside world has had much less of an effect on me.
Taking responsibility empowers me. I feel amazingly powerful when I am able to find my own solutions and clear out the fog. I feel the connection with others and the surge of creativity when we all work together towards a common goal. I feel confident and courageous stepping into the unknown because I know my actions and consequences of those actions are mine and mine alone.
I feel good knowing that I am showing up in a way that serves as inspiration for others. I know that holding myself accountable makes me stronger and more effective in my day to day life. I am able to inspire myself to keep going knowing that it is I who reap the rewards of all that I sow.
How are you being respons-able for yourself? Do you have the ability to find solutions, choose your emotional responses, and look at the world like it is a playground for possibilities?
If so, let me know in the comments or reply to this email so I can celebrate with you! If not, and you’d like some support, I’d love to hear from you too!
Let’s get you set up for success by taking a look at one area of your life and breaking down where you’re reactive and where you’re proactive. Book a quick Proactive Tactics call and I’ll help you pinpoint exactly what needs to change so you can feel empowered, confident, and fierce as you walk through your fabulous life. Just shoot me an email at Katie@FeelYourLight.com
Remember, you are loved and supported on your journey.
Love always,
Katie
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