Anything new is uncomfortable because you’ve never done it before. What if you screw up or look stupid? What if it doesn’t go as well as you want? What would happen if somebody saw you? What if you had no idea what you were doing as you were doing it?
News flash, most of us who try new things and are right in the midst of that uncomfortable, fear-filled moment of almost panic have absolutely no idea what we’re doing. We just roll with the punches and see what happens. We look at what’s happening as an adventure unfolding moment by moment. And I say “we” because I have now become one of those people who just take an idea and run with it if I believe it is the right thing for me to do.
After decades of denying myself experiences that might have changed my life, I am hell bent on enjoying my life now that I got a grip and realized that I actually have a lot of control over what happens. And that includes repeatedly doing things that scare the shit out me that my old self would have never done because she was a too scared to move forward.
These days, I look fear in the face. Sure, I’m practically peeing my pants as I step into all these new situations with new people where I have to be vulnerable and visible, but I do it anyway. It’s hard as hell to get up the courage sometimes to just open my mouth and reach out to people, and even harder still to have notes come out of my mouth as I work to hone my singing skills. It’s embarrassing because I feel I am not as talented as a lot of my friends, but at the same time it’s exciting because I am taking the steps to be better. So I look to my friends as inspiration rather than competition because we all have our own unique voice to share, and we can learn a lot from each other.
Taking those uncomfortable situations and turning them into choose-your-own-adventures transforms a lot of the fear. By staying present and just going moment to moment relieves me of the anxiety of things “not going as planned” because, really, you can’t plan for anything, especially when there are other people involved. You can’t control what others think, say, do, or feel, and you don’t know how they’re going to respond, so there’s no point in wasting your energy on something that’s out of your hands.
My heart still races before having to do something new, but I just breathe and remind myself to stay open to whatever the situation will bring. A lot of the time it’s way, WAY better than anything I dreamed up, so when I look back I can use the experience to release expectations. When you don’t have any expectations of how something “should” go, then you leave yourself open to experience it in a totally different way than if you tried to make things (or people) stick to a plan.
So when things get uncomfortable, let yourself know that this is what growth feels like! Nothing changes if nothing changes, and things are going to change anyways, so just go with it. Let yourself enjoy each and every moment as you work your way through the newness of it all because you’ll never have this experience ever again, and you’re in this moment for a reason. Embrace it and revel in the sense of pride and accomplishment of trying something new and getting out of your comfort zone.